For You I Died, my Lover

For You I Died, my Lover

Poetry

Natasha Helen Crudden

 

 

 

For you I died, my lover

For you

I tore sons from their fathers

Daughters from the womb

 

For you I fought

The only thing worth fighting for

 

Here I am

The fire in your veins

The spark in your ignition

When you are in discomfort

Inconvenienced

Under duress

 

There I stood

In rank with my comrades

Awaiting the day

You could live

For the sacrifice we made

 

For you I failed

Building glass cages

For you I died in office blocks

As you pondered

How we lived before the internet

How is this progress, my lover?

How can we ever move forward from this?

 

Shrapnel-bruised and bloody

We staggered back in line

Choking on the dreadful pall of defeat

And the sight

Of a tattered white rag

Nailed to a rotted stick

Greyed from nameless failed revolts

Stung my eyes

 

For you I faced the firing squad

And they dropped their gaze

Afraid to meet my eye

As the rifle gears ground

And the bullet shot on its trajectory

To my heart

Metal tore flesh

And the fissure zig-zagged outward

’til all I could taste was blood

But it was not the end

 

For you I fought a hundred years

In silence

To join your water-cooler revolution

And, in a century, I awoke

In a shantytown in the wilderness

Starving

On a diet of broken promises

And Irish Water

How I fought and strained

To tap the wi-fi to my veins

And reconnect my brain

But

 

At last

I died, my lover

On a bed of election posters

An effigy

Of the twenty-first century

An anthem

For a modern age

 

And they fed off your weakness, my lover

And consumed into blackness

The green, white and gold.

 

 

(First published in 2018 in the poetry collection Ctrl/Alt/Delete)

 

 

 

Natasha Helen Crudden is a punk-influenced performance poet, musician and author of poetry collections “Barbed-Wire Cage” and “Ctrl/Alt/Delete” and novel “Empire Evolution”. Her work has been published in several literary publications and her performance resume includes the Electric Picnic festival and main stage in Whelan’s, Dublin. She is a regular on the Dublin open mic scene and performs at arts nights throughout Ireland. 

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