Official Radio One

Official Radio One


Kevin Higgins




That time of the week

when bachelor farmers decide,

on balance, not to string themselves

up in the outhouse, bravely

switch on the wireless instead;


on Official Radio Marion the defunct


has a few old pals around

for two thrilling hours

of cream tea and general

consensus. Last month

one critic unfairly hissed


that the show increasingly sounds

like the occupants of a mortuary

in one of the more horrible parts

of Donnybrook, each in turn

rising up in ecstasy to second

what the last speaker said.


Today the no longer discredited ex-Minister for Fish

rushes to agree with thoughts the deceased

Professor of Social Work borrowed

from Conor Cruise O’Brien’s

Old English Sheepdog.


A former environmentalist called Tarquin,

with a new special interest in

ecologically unsustainable coffins, mutters

in violent acquiescence with everything said


by the old dear you’d thought long

cremated—her accent still rich with Rathgar—

who these days, it turns out, mostly gets flown

around Africa asking people of the browner variety


what to do with her vast

and flatulent concern for their plight.





Bio: Kevin Higgins’s Song of Songs 2:0 – New and Selected Poems will be published by Salmon Poetry in April. His poems have been quoted in The Daily Telegraph, The Times (UK), The Independent, and The Daily Mirror. The Stinging Fly magazine recently described Kevin as “likely the most read living poet in Ireland.”

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