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The Scum Gentry journal - An Alternative News Source
Satirical news articles, social satire and political satire Headlines.

Tesco Everyday Value Spanish White Wine - satirical Wine Rating by Laurence Vougiouklakis

“Uncomplicated wine, great taste.” These words are printed in green ink upon the rectangular tower of white recyclable cardboard, the carton that houses this litre of cheap Spanish wine that I’ve been called to write about. I have been appointed the futile task of trying to explain to you its gentleness, its deceptive tang that I’ve been raving about to anyone within earshot over the past few days in the village. The explanation offered on the carton, of course, is a comical understatement: for uncomplicated, read strange; for great, read overwhelming.

Now, join me: I pick up the carton and I bounce it about in my hands, I turn it on its side and caress it with tender strokes like I would the naked hip of a Dutch whore. It is a full object in itself: it requires no...

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Fair City Stories: the Carrigstown Review - satirical news article by Ross Breslin

A new year is upon us, bringing with it new aspirations and commitments, as well as fresh directions entirely, to follow up on now that both the digestive and the withdrawal periods of Christmas have passed thankfully behind us. After spending the last year penning in-depth, occasionally even pretentious, reviews of artsy movies I decided that I needed a new journalistic vocation to occupy me for 2014. Something with the common touch, more down to earth and accessible, something that could be gripped with the rough skin of my own two hands and crafted in the traditional sense. And so it happened that while flicking through the UPC one evening earlier this week I stumbled upon that old staple of Irish television, the Dublin soap opera “Fair City...

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Ritual Terror: A Month in Review - satirical news article by Manz DeFio

March: a month of fresh beginnings, the promise of improving weather, smiles to be found on the city streets, new-born lawnmowers humming in the distance; producing the ever-pleasing odour of cut grass. The days are a prelude to summer laziness; iced glasses of booze in the garden, girls’ dresses lifting lightly in the breeze, tramps sleeping dangerously close to the water’s edge. But I’m getting distracted by the future. Did March deliver? Did I even have any expectations to begin with?


There’s a sailor who eats
Only fish-heads and tails
...

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A Procession of Degenerates through Dublin - satirical news article by Garret O'Gorman

Last week I had the great fortune to be approached by the reputable boys from TheScumGentry.com, a high brow online enterprise consisting of poets, musicians and essayists. They wanted me to attend a trade union march in Dublin and write up my interpretation of the day’s events. For me, this was a very welcome development. Aside from a widely acclaimed article published in “Irelands Own” magazine in 1996, my writing career had of late slipped into something of a slumber and my work as a lobbyist had died along with Charles Haughey. Did this new offer mark the beginning of a new era for Garret O’Gorman? Had the scandalous allegations made against me in the past been forgotten?

The young lads intended for me to publish my piece...

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